03 December 2008


relationship tips, love tips

The Fear Factor

Fear can have a very powerful effect on people. While fear may
help people do amazing things or overcome large obstacles it can
also be debilitating.

I have witnessed far too many relationships that are anchored in
fear instead of love. Abusers know the power that fear can have
on others and will often use fear to keep someone from leaving them.

Do any of these statements apply to your relationship?

* I don't want to break up because I will be lonely

* I can't leave my boyfriend/girlfriend because I don't think he/she
will be able to handle it and might do something crazy

* If I leave he or she will just come after me

* I can't support my family on my income alone

* I don't want to complain because he/she will get into a rage

* I'm not worthy of a blissful relationship - I deserve this
abusive one

It is impossible for your relationship to be blissful (or even
marginally happy) if you stay in it out of fear. Don't believe the
lies that "no one else will love you like I love you" or "you'll
be sorry if you leave me." Anyone who uses power and fear to keep
a relationship together has very little love in him or her.

If you are the type of person who goes from one abusive, controlling
relationship to another, find out why. Analyze why you are initially
attracted to abusers (or perhaps you are attracting them) and stop
going out with them. Refuse to stay in a mentally or physically
abusive relationship even if you have fears (if the abuser agrees
to go to counseling with you that is a different situation).

There are a lot of support groups (locally and online) who can
help give you the courage to break away from relationships that
are based on fear. You are a very special person. God loves you,
I love you and you deserve a much better relationship.

by Michael Webb

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