14 January 2009

Dealing With Anger in Relationships

Anger is a very destructive emotion in any relationship and is particularly poison to romantic ones. It breeds so many other negative feelings and responses such as resentment, criticism, and much more.

Dealing with anger in relationships is important to learn because if it allowed growing anger can become the rule rather than the exception. If anger becomes a routine way of coping with problems the things that cause them will never be addressed.

If you are very close and live together the situations that can cause anger may pop up on a daily basis. Patience is the key and knowing those buttons before they get pushed. Anger in relationships has to be dealt with as it happens. Otherwise resentment will build and destroy everything you both have worked for.

Your mate is your friend, anger can turn them into an opponent and make every day or date that you go out on an emotional battlefield. It is supposed to be the both of you against the world not each other!
Being aware of your partner's habits and shortcomings and accepting them will short-circuit these arguments before they begin. Arguments generally form with anger over something and when reason and logic is replaced by negative emotion and yelling the issue will be hard to resolve. Turning an everyday disagreement into a personal attack solves nothing and just compounds the problem you are both trying to deal with.

When dealing with anger in relationships it is important to remember that anger is a natural emotion. We are not robots. But it is important to not let the anger get out of control. It isn't healthy for either person in a relationship to carry around bad feelings while smiling and pretending that nothing is bothering them. Communication is important even if you are angry, but keeping the anger in check is vital.

Being angry about something your loved one has said or done is quite different than rage. Rage is destructive and you will eventually say or do something that may be hard to take back or repair later. There is an old saying that goes: "familiarity breeds contempt". This is certainly true in relationships because it is those familiar buttons that get pushed that gets the blood boiling. Sometimes it is done on purpose, and other times it just happens. Taking a deep breath and thinking before you react to your partner can prevent hurt feelings.

Anger will rear its ugly head from time to time in any relationship; learning to recognize the triggers and respond with logic instead of rage will keep your romance alive and keep resentment out of the picture.

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